May 25, 2011

Dennis and Bryant, Episode 2

DENNIS: [smoking a cigarette] You’ve been working out.

BRYANT: How do you mean?

D: Your ass. It looking tighter. These pants are hugging your nuts. More than usual, anyway.

B: No. I got a haircut.

D: It’s not that. First off, it’s not visible.

B: It’s a good haircut.

D: You can’t tell. Continue reading

February 23, 2011

Quickies: Composure and Fiona’s Big Brown Box


RENE: Look at these people! So. Goddamned. Composed. As if composure was its own merit, its own way of staving off the enormity of all the decisions past present future. Continue reading

February 10, 2011

Lasers and pigeons

BASEL: To get this out of the way, I’m a man of efficiency. As are you. We’re equals. I mean, we’re not drinking from the same trough and I’m not going to belittle you or lie to you since we both know that’d be complete bullshit. Where I plan, coordinate, set up catering and scenarios and mystique, you push laborers and truck deliveries and parcels marked a b c d p q. But in our milieus, we’re both men of precision. Let’s agree to that.  In our areas of precision, we’re both fucking laser.

[A pigeon flies into the glass door, shakes its head and wobbles around on the pavilion, off-balanced.]

Continue reading

February 1, 2011

Stick (or, thus commenceth the gif apocalypse, part 1)

QUINN: You’ve been staring.


Q: Your computer. For as long as you’ve been in today.

Z: Since six.

Q: Then as long as I’ve been in.

Z: And?

Q: What in the hell are you working on?

Z: It’s personal.

[QUINN leaves him alone to type on his computer. The phone rings.]

Q: [looking at ZEKE, waiting] Oh no, I’ll get that. We can all pitch in. One big team. [picks up phone] Leadbetter Insurance, Adjusters department.

Z: Shh.

Q: Nope, I can tell you we’re here. And the fax is in fact working. [hangs up] Is the fax working?

Z: The Dinosaur or the Neandertal?

Q: The Stonehenge Monolith. Continue reading

January 26, 2011

Date Night: Lillizzie3 and Mypalbrosky

About lillizzie3 I have the best stylist and an amazing dentist, but I don’t think that defines me. You’re just as likely to see me out at the beach with my copy of Gatsby (love!) as spending time out with wine and friends. Or travelling the seven seas (isn’t everybody looking for something?? 😉 )

Six things mypalbrosky can’t do without 1) Beer 2) My dog Ivan Bro-sky 3) NY Giants!! 4) Madden, 5) Windex 6) If there’s beer, there must be pong!


Continue reading

January 25, 2011


ATTENDANT NURSE: So as you’ll see, all our products are sourced from the highest quality, sustainably run laboratories prized for their adherence to our strict ethical guidelines. With this model especially.

GRANNY BARRETT: Excuse me, miss.

AN: If you’ll also notice the special detailing — Continue reading

January 23, 2011

Tread not so softly into yonder beckoning light (or, the accountants)

DANNY MCCABE: Have you ever worn one?

DIANE: We’re on Item 15, Danny, talking about rejoinders.

Mc: I’m just looking at the two of you and I think with the starch you both are rocking on your collars, you should really think about it. Wearing a tie. I mean, it takes a leap — I didn’t personally start until a phase  of auto-erotic asphyxiation I had in business school — but I have to recommend. Continue reading

January 20, 2011

Dennis and Bryant, Episode 1

BRYANT: Prostitute. Look at her ass. That underwear might as well be attached with Velcro.

DENNIS: You’re not right. Too much glitter. Pain in the ass.

B: Just a pain?

D: Pain in the ass. Hold on.

[The woman walks past, and DENNIS takes a drag on his cigarette.] Continue reading